Bed, Bath and Beyond Breaking Bad

 Have you ever dreamed about visiting stores that turn out to be unbelievably that the dream ends up being unintentionally hilarious? I had one last night where my friend Tina and I visited a home goods store (not Bed, Bath and Beyond, mind you -- I just couldn't resist making up that title) because I was looking for a new bed blanket.

I didn't catch what this store was called, but it certainly doesn't exist in real life. We entered the store which was decorated in a cozy style with wood walls and shaggy carpeting. Actudally, judging from all the shelves in the store, it might have ben a bookstore in a previous life. The first thing we saw was tons and tons of afghan blankets in all sorts of color themes.

"These are lovely but not what I'm looking for," I said. "I need something for the bed."

We moved deeper into the store and passed a big display of printed throw blankets with weird themes on them. For example, one is designed as a giant bank check made out to Las Vegas for some weird sum like $9,876.37. Why not a nice round number like $10,000?  I get the sense that maybe this store buys overstock and unsold lots, kind of like Tuesday Morning on steriods.

An assistant directed us to the back for blankets, so we 6ook a shortcut through the kitchen goods section. It was full of shelves holding random assortments of kitchen goods. One package caught my eye; it's for a sippy cup. The photo on the front, which was in black and white, shows a toddler reaching up for a sippy cup which a man was handing down to him. But the photo only showed him from the waist down, and he was wearing shorts, so you got a glorious view of very hairy legs and ugly Doc Martin-type shoes. Not that I work in marketing or anything, but I'd say that's a really poor choice of image for a product packaging. :-)

As we moved on, I spied a stack of cloth napkins, all in neon green.

"Ooh, your favorite color," I teased Tina who made a face.

We reached tthe back but we didn't see any blankets. Instead, we saw shelves of knitting yarns in all colors. A sign above read, "Make your own blanket!' Oh, boy. :-)